Finding Steve

I have learned that when someone close to you dies, you are forever on an incremental path of discovery of that person, whether you like it or not.  I have found that people are willing to share details of that persons life that otherwise would have been more or less...unspoken.  I find that both disturbing and exhilarating.  Just because that person is dead, does it make it ok to "gossip"?   There are a couple of adages that come to mind "if you've got nothing good to say, say nothing at all" and "never speak ill of the dead".  Both are wise, but who ever adheres to them? And what do you do, when what you've learned turns out to be a crucial piece of the puzzle that you didn't even know you were without?

You listen.  What else can you do?

I knew this Greek House meant something extremely important to my father.  I've been told he had this mania to complete it to the point where he slept on the concrete overnight and waited for the workers in the morn.  Heck, maybe I should have done that....perhaps I could have avoided the present leaky window debacle. But I digress. 

At first glance you wouldn't think it too odd that dad would hover over the workers and watch as every brick and mortar was laid.  But it became compulsive and wildly out of control.  Why would he choose to sleep there? He had places to sleep, safe places, lux places.  Wasn't ANYONE looking out for him?  Couldn't the redheaded monster, Voldemort, tell that Steve wasn't well?  Couldn't his cousin, the past mihanikos, stop for a moment from ripping him off and consider that perhaps Steve wasn't altogether?

I also recently learned that he suffered greatly.  And my heart, my heart...my heart hurts. My mind plays these events over and over and I picture him like a wounded, lonely animal labouring for no good reason in the dead heat of the Greek summer sun. 

He had 7 mini strokes.

I listened.  I listened as this random old acquaintance of dad's just "talked" about a part of my dad's life that I wasn't privy to.  As he continues, without any encouragement from me, I think, "What else does he know?" And do I pretend like I know these details or do I actually show the shock and dismay that I'm experiencing inside?

I continued to nod as if I've heard all of this before. I smiled at this old friend of dad's, trying not to show the discomfort that he is causing me.  He meant no harm, so I sat still and I listened.  He spoke so enthusiastically and with such  quirky detail about my dad and this Greek House, that I began to laugh.  He genuinely admired my father and I could sense that this man...missed him. 

"Losing family obliges us to find our family", the opening line to an essay read by Sean Connery in the movie Finding Forrester.   And as the 6th year of losing my father Steve approaches,  I feel like I'm just finding him! 

And even though I feel like I've let him down by putting the final completion of the Greek House on a temporary hold, I know that this house is the ultimate gift from him.  Because while my journey of   Finding Steve continues,  he has lead me to find that "it's not always the family that is our blood, but the family that can become our blood" that carries us through life.  Old friendships reborn and new friendships that you never knew you could live without emerge and your spirit is renewed.  Finding comfort in knowing that when the universe takes, it also gives back. 



It's true that you'll never know anyone truly and completely, especially a parent.  But you may stumble upon a handwritten note, tucked away in a drawer that was likely never meant to be found, proclaiming undying love for someone you know or perhaps don't know! Or bump into and old friend willing to share personal memories with someone that you didn't think had any real friends.   Even this Greek House, left abandoned, patiently waiting to tell it's story, chooses me to reveal it's secrets. And then suddenly insight about that parent just starts to pour in.  You welcome it,  you fear it, you crave it and you need it.

I will always listen.

 

If one is Lucky, a Solitary Fantasy can Totally Transform One Million Realities

Brilliant Sea view in Kalamata

My big, gorgeous, lonely, Greek House may not be getting a lot of physical attention these days, but it has been getting a lot of virtual attention! Through this blog!
Twenty-two posts with over 10 thousand views, which may not seem like a lot in the blogosphere, but certainly more than I would have ever wagered.  Plus, the ultimate compliment... a request to do a public reading! Wow. 

This upcoming momentous event will be held in a chic Montreal boutique bookstore and I am flattered to learn that I am slotted in with  two seasoned travel bloggers.   I thought perhaps if you were to categorize this blog maybe real estate or even memoir.  Hmm, travel blog...why not?!

A little bit shocking, really, to be asked because as a very close friend said to me, "why would they ask you?  You're not a published author."  Well, he is right and his comment practically took the bloom off the rose, but he is unaware of the social reach of blogging and just between you and me he doesn't fit the right demo anyway, lol. 

The organizers have requested that I read excerpts from four blog posts and one from a new one that has yet to be posted. 
They've given me their four selections:
"My Greece is the Taygetos Mountains"
"Where's the Street Wise Hercules to Fight the Rising Odds"
"The Reluctant Employer Part 2" and
"Perfect Imperfections"

Funny that they chose these posts because they actually are some of the more popular reads!  They range between 225-475 views.  I'm glad they selected for me though, because it would truly be a difficult task.  Every word, sentence and paragraph resonates deeply with me and it would be like picking a favourite child. Oh, please tell me which posts you like best.

Now the fifth selection poses a problem.  I have six posts in draft mode and I'm not sure which to put a finish on.  To be honest...I've kinda lost my muse.  My brain is scattered with too many incomplete thoughts and feelings and emotions.  

You see, it wasn't long ago that I wrote about how my Greek House wasn't touched by the pressure of the country's or even the world's economics and politics, but I was naïve.  I had pulled together a dream team of builders which resurrected it from its questionable start and had wrapped their collective arms around it, to shield it from unsavory characters and nurture it from its past neglect. 


But all that flurry of activity around my house has come to a grinding halt due to tumultuous circumstances beyond my control and it has weighed heavily on my chest.  And once again, it has been sadly neglected and with its faulty window installation has become damp and cold.But I remain passionate, warm and enthusiast and perhaps this opportunity to present this personal journey live, is what I need to encourage my muse to reawaken.  And to tell a personal story that readers can relate to, is what a writer, any writer, published or otherwise, strive for!  I'm beyond flattered!

I guess that when you share some of your own pain, difficulties, and setbacks, and then show how you recovered or learned a valuable lesson, you become more real and human to your readers and  allow them to see the person behind the computer.
 

leaky window

For example, one of the current setbacks are the faulty windows.  Now, I'm not an engineer/builder, but I need to understand why the windows leak.  I will research it and find a reason and when my mihanikos begins to offer his professional  take on the situation I can meet him in the middle and I'll be coming from a place of understanding and basic knowledge.   It's not that I don't trust my mihanikos, I do,  he's just not on site all the time,  but I need to always be a step ahead.  I am my father's daughter after all. You see, I can accept failure, I can't accept not trying.

Which brings me back to finishing one of the six posts that await in the drafts file.  I could do a part 2 to an existing post or better yet, a Directors Cut!  Actually, in my wildest of thoughts, I  dream that this blog gets optioned for a movie like Julie and Julia. LMAO!  Hey, like the immortal Maya Angelou said, "If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities."

Well right now my reality is a bit like fantasy.  I feel little like Carrie Bradshaw, from Sex and the City, when her new book just gets released and you see her reading from it at a book launch in NYC.  Ok, a bit of a stretch...its not a book and its not NYC...yet ;)



Can I Love You?

With Christina Boutari enjoying
 The Grand Reserve
 

It all started with a glass of Grand Reserve with Christina Boutari at a one of kind North end upscale Greek resto.   It was a wine flight featuring new offerings from the Boutari wine appellations.  She was on a North American tour, as the Ambassador of her family business.  Lovely and charming, we had a moment that will be seared in my brain for an eternity.   A group of us were invited and I decided last minute to attend because it was round the corner from my mums house and typically these events don't happen North of city and certainly not in my hometown.  

Boutari was making the rounds and greeting guests and when she made her way to our table she chose a wine for us to sample ahead of the flight.   In her perfect English with the sweetest of Greek accents she says directly to me, "I think you'll like this one."  My group and I were delighted that we were having a personal tasting with her and anxious to try one of the new arrivals. But she only poured for me and insisted that I'd adore it.  Odd.  I take the glass from her and do my best impression of a wannabe sommelier, swirling the glass and taking it up to my nose.  And as I do, my heart skips a beat and begins to race.  I inhale deeply and I'm transported to my parents dining table. In a flash I can see the Sunday dinner spread out and the familiar wine bottle being opened by my father.  I know this wine and I know it well. 

My eyes welled up unexpectedly and I tried to hide it.  "What is wrong?  Have I chosen incorrectly? she asks.  I felt exposed and vulnerable and not wanting to come off as a snob, I beamed up at her and exclaimed in a shaky voice, "This is a classic!  It's the Grand Reserve, isn't it?"  I prattled on trying to conceal that while I may physically be sitting next to her, mentally my mind has taken a trip to the spirit world...or has the spirit world come to me? Yes, indeed it was my father's all time favourite wine.  Dad's 'go to red' that never disappointed and always made an awesome gift.  I haven't tasted it for a least 10 years and there I was having a glass with Christina Boutari herself in a restaurant 3 minutes from my dads house.  Startling.

And then it happened again.

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare was sitting lonely atop a pile of bargain bin priced hard cover books.  I stopped and did a double take and stared at it for a moment.  I was in a massive hurry, cutting through the downtown subway tunnels to make my Bloor train.  The tunnel shops were busy and people were whizzing past me but the world just seemed to stop as I zeroed in on this book. My hand reached for it and it felt like a veil was coming down over me.  That familiar book, its colour and size, its pencil sketch of Shakespeare, those thin almost newsprint pages took me back 25 years when I was a young girl dusting the window display at my dads bookstore. The Heritage Shop, on Yonge Street, was only up and running for one year, but what an indelible year indeed!  Part bookstore, part art shop, it was his best and worst business ever. 

The clerk interrupted my mind trip, "Hey, how did that book get into the outside bargain bin?  Oh well, it's $3.99!  Crazy right?  It's asking you to love it...", I put the book down.  The clerk picks it up, holds it out to me and continues "...or maybe its asking Can I love you?"  The colour drained from my face and a chill ran up and down my spine.  "I beg your pardon?  What did you just say?  Why would you say something like?  What do you mean?" The clerk stepped back and I stepped toward him, clearly making him uncomfortable.  "I don't know, just said it, don't take offence, just sounded poetic...the book made me say it!" He started to laugh and I started to feel ill.  "Are you alright?" he queried and offered me to come in and have a seat and glass of water, but all I could choke out was, "'I'll buy the book."

It was a one-two punch.  I was winded for the rest of the day.  Finding the book, or more like the book found me, was one thing, but when those familiar words, Can I love you, tripped out of the clerks mouth...I knew it was no coincidence.  What kind of a question is that?  Who says that?  My father did.  It was his catch phrase.  His trump card.  I never did understand the question and what kind of a response did he expect? Was it rhetorical? Nevertheless, I've never heard anyone, before, during or after, ever ask that question. 

Why I haven't thought of The Heritage bookstore in decades is a mystery!  Gosh, I had great fun then and met some real interesting people.  The book and art suppliers were an eccentric bunch and dad enjoyed introducing me because I had practically read all the books in the store, Lord knows he hadn't.  The courage my father had!  Truly.  English as a second language and the only thing he'd ever read from cover to cover was the daily newspaper, but there he was selling The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, amongst other classics, without a flurry of doubt and with complete confidence.  Wow.  I do remember this one book supplier, Wil, that frequented the shop on his off hours to chat with dad.  What a card!  He totally loved my dad!  And now that I look back on it, I wonder if he was writing a book of his own and profiling my dad for a character! I guess I'll never know, but dad as a character, is multi-faceted and you can't deny the tension that a love/hate relationship so deliciously provides for good story telling.

My girlfriends think its time we take a road trip to Long Island...and it wouldn't  be for the ice-tea! LMAO!  Although I'd likely need a very tall cold Long Island Iced Tea, if we were to ever get an audience with the Medium that resides there.  Too funny!  For those of you who don't know her, she apparently speaks to the dead.

A couple of friends are unabashedly addicted to the Long Island Medium, Theresa Caputo and her TV show on Sunday nights.  It certainly is entertaining and I've become curious, considering all this "paranormal activity", yet cautious. My experience with the paranormal is limited and I'd like to keep it that way!  I'm not so sure I should consider a trip to visit Caputo to find out what, if anything, dad is trying to communicate to me.

I'm not an overtly spiritual person and I'm rather quick to dismiss any ambiguous sign or symbol that could be interpreted as a form of communication from the other side.  But how can you ignore this?  Sure, I've dreamt of dad a lot since his passing, especially now that I'm building this Greek House and they have left me frightened.  But I'd always conclude that they were, well...just dreams. However, these events are certainly not ambiguous!

But wait, there's more.  Yes, that's right and as worn out, distraught and confused as I am, the rains in Kalamata this Spring brought a delightful, miraculous, thoughtful and hopeful sign.  Irises. 

Irises, from my Uncles description,  aren't seen around Messinia.  And there aren't any small animals, like squirrels, that would have dug the bulb up and transplanted them onto the Verga property.  And even if there were, the soil isn't any good for growing much of anything especially these delicate and elegant flowers.  The only catch here in laying claim that my dead father had something to do with this, is that his favourite flower is the Sunflower.  However, having said that, this flower has become significant to me these past two years and the portrait that my dad gave me of himself year ago has a pewter frame of iris flowers!  Not to mention that I've always enjoyed them in print form by Van Gogh and other impressionist artists and they have adorned my walls for several years and have brought me great joy.  From what I understand, there are about a dozen of them, a sparse amount, surrounding my large Greek House as if to give it a gentle embrace.  I'm overwhelmed.

February, March and now April all brought harbingers of dad's presence.  This being the fifth anniversary of his death, I  must admit, has been a positive reflection.  I am quite grateful that I've been able to remember him and even experience him in softer, quieter and gentler ways.

And it isn't until this very moment that I finally understand this quote,  "If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die."

And I guess in this case, destiny demands that every moment has a purpose.

.

Verga, the Beverly Hills of Kalamata

Springtime in Greece is divine. While the olive tree does dominate the Greek landscape, its the Almond tree with its blossoms bursting with white, pink and fuchsia that leaves you stunned this time of year.  Their colour and fragrance just leaves your mouth agape, wanting to drink them in.  Its one of natures moments that you must experience because its so very brief.

I don't have an almond tree on my property in Verga.  Just olives and spring wild greens that my friend tells me are mixed with some edibles. I'd also love to plant a couple of lemon trees near the kitchen and mini French lilacs leading up to the front walk.  And the pan-ultimate would be to have Lily of the Valley carpeting every spot with their perky green leaves and most delicate uber fragrant, tiny, white flowers.  That is my most favourite flower, nothing compares!  I'm hoping to anyway. Because that's what you do in the Spring right?  Hope.

Amongst many other things, I was hoping that the Canadian dollar would rebound in the new year.  But it continues to take a beating next to the inflated American dollar and as a result the exchange rate with the euro is deadly, hence one of the main reasons for the construction delay.  I'm not horribly disappointed, just slightly bewildered.
 

 

But my spirits are high, I remain unflappable with my desire to complete this house. And steadfast that Boufeas will continue to buff and shine this rare gem, until it meets his high standards. My house is not immune to typical construction delays, but I guess slow and steady wins the race.  Even though that cliché doesn't fit my personal outlook on various endeavours, it does however seem to fit this circumstance quite well.  Especially when it comes down to the legalisation of the house and property because the bylaws keep changing.  For example, up until a few weeks ago, I thought that I had legalised the "house" the entire "structure" by paying a lump sum, but I was surprised and shocked to learn that I had only legalised the first floor of the house and not the second.  Talk about a cash grab.  After my head stopped spinning and having thrown a very controlled, even-tempered adult tantrum,  mihanikos Giannopoulos calmly and patiently stated, "that this current situation is the best so far and may end this for once and for all!" Please, no more surprises, I detest surprises.  Then again, you are only safe from surprise when you're dead.

 

But sometimes, very rarely, surprises can be enlightening! And I was quite pleasantly surprised to have read that the house is in what is now considered the Beverly Hills of Kalamata...Verga! Can you believe it? Verga?  I still can't stop laughing. 

 

A Self-proclaimed Beverly Hills, no doubt, but the moniker has picked up steam.  Some real estate sites are using this label quite liberally and with abandon and why not?  Its certainly does conjure up the right images.  Or does it?  The urban dictionary describes Beverly Hills as the playground for the ultra rich and famous and identified by its palm tree-lined streets, sunshine and atrocious property values. A city of about 30,000 residents almost completely surrounded by the city of Los Angeles between Hollywood/West Hollywood to the east, Bel-Air to the West, Westwood and the campus of UCLA to the south and the Hollywood Hills to the north. Some of its most famous streets include Hollywood Blvd, Sunset Blvd., and Doheny Drive. Rodeo Drive and the Beverly Hills Hotel are probably its two most famous icons. B.H. is the world's capital of plastic surgery, bods and beamers. Its rich, arrogant, pretentious pricks can be frequently seen with sunglasses driving an expensive car while talking on their cellphone. It has become a hideout for the rich and famous. Perhaps that's why the city has so many rehab clinics for Hollywood stars.  Charming place, lol.

Verga is lined with olive trees, sunshine and the beginnings of atrocious property values.  Its just outside the borders of Kalamata and doesn't  boast any Universities or even a library. It does however have some great chic nightclubs.  The winding roads have no names and if they do only the water department knows them. Everyone does have a cellphone and while they certainly are calling their plastic surgeons, they are mostly on facebook being insufferable.  I personally wouldn't want to live in Beverly Hills, California, I'm a mountain girl who enjoys pressing olives for oil, and visiting NYC on a whim, but then again Greeks have this obsession with all things foreign, or all things "not-Greek".  Hence the steady and systematic chipping away of their culture.  This disorder even has a name, "xenomania". 

 

But what I do like about Verga being associated with Beverly Hills, it that it suggests luxury.  Not just in the quality and amenities that the current houses have, (the neighbour behind me has an elevator), but in its location.  Verga may not have all the bells and whistles as its twin, but what it does have is its plum sprawling upper and lower mountain position with grand sweeping vistas of the magnificent Messinian Bay and the ever present Taygetos in Southern Greece. Verga is Mediterranean, while Beverly Hills is a wannabe, its fake, its "faux-med"! lol.   For sure the rich and famous could hideout here and likely already do. Location in real estate is everything.

 

I'm no expert, but finding that new, trendy, up and coming location is what makes real estate so seductive and addictive.  And that's what's happening in Messinia.  To my horror, its no longer Greece's best kept secret, but to the delight of my mihanikos, Peter Boufeas, the budding real estate mogul.  What used to be a 10 hour drive from Athens to Kalamata, is now only 3 hours since the new super highways that got blasted through the mountains.  Posh hotels are popping up this year and a Spaceport in 2015 will commence construction.  Yes, Kalamata is the new Cape Canaveral.  Crazy.  Wonder what my dad would have thought of all these astounding changes happening in his home town.  He wouldn't believe it!  Or would he?  Perhaps he was a visionary, who always played his cards close to his chest.  He would mutter rather frequently, "I know nothing, I come from a small village," most times being sarcastic but perhaps pretending on occasion, it seems, to be out of the loop.  Hmm, rather clever.



Look at the vintage tiles and the ladder!
 Love to have this.

And while location is a huge deal worthy of all the attention, its also really important, in my opinion,  to focus on the other aspects of the house that are also permanent – the layout and the exposure to natural light, which my house excels in.  My house has unique outdoor spaces, which Boufeas gets full credit for, and takes advantage of all the natural light that Southern Greece has to offer, but so do most of my neighbours. Some even have self-cleaning pools, others have elevators but none will have coffered ceilings, two master bedrooms and the ultimate...two massive walk-in closets! Well, three, if you count the front hall closet.  So very North American. Brilliant.

Selling this Greek House was always the plan, but I don't think I ever could.  How could I?  I completely adore it without any reservation.  Now, I do read a lot, in fact a really close friend said that to me, almost as a criticism, but from what I've read, when it comes to selling, the bottom line is: List when you need to. And I really don't need to.  Besides, I would never sell it for less than its worth, unlike the Greek Government who is selling because it needs to.  Selling the old Athens Airport, Hellenikon, which is considered a piece of prime seaside real estate and considered the biggest free space in the whole of Europe, 6.2 million square metres to foreign investors makes me cringe.  China's Warren Buffet is being lauded to have picked this up at a low-priced, high value investment and chooses to take advantage and buys into bottom of Greek market, for what is considered a bargain at $1.2 billion.

My father was by no means the Greek-Canadian version of Warren Buffet, but it seems that he had the sense to do the same and pick up this Greek property during the drachma days.  And now, this Verga property has become My Beverly Hills East House, a high value investment. 

Well played dad, well played.
 

Perfect Imperfections

Perfect.  What a deliciously alluring, seductive, tempting word.  Purrfect. A word that Eartha Kitt owned and would growl out on demand of which I've had the personal privilege of hearing.  In most cases, perfect, is hard to achieve, almost impossible.  We can only strive to be perfect, always falling short for most, and for the rare few, just out of grasp.  But is it really something to aim for?   And for which part of your life do you pour all your energies in to perhaps reach perfection? Wealth, health, relationships?  Something's got to give, right? 

Well, this house is certainly not perfect.  Except for this ceiling.  There is nothing more perfect than this ceiling.  Ok, I may be exaggerating...the house location is perfect and the view!  Lord have mercy, the view is beyond perfection!  But I had no control over that.  My father did, and he chose perfectly.

Every piece of the coffered ceiling  was cut and placed by hand, no prefab mouldings here.  A true coffered ceiling of this calibre adds the best of architectural details and elevates the worth of the house.  There can be no flaws in its geometry and I threatened Boufeas (my mihanikos) that if there was it would be horribly obvious and would have to be taken down at his expense.  He was leery at first because he said that this was a Greek house not an English house and we don't install these types of ceilings.  Having taken him again outside of his comfort zone and having to admit that he never erected one, he cleverly discovered that our foreman, Dimitri, was quite the expert on coffered ceilings.  Perfect.

I always admired the look of a coffered ceiling and how it truly does finish a room and make it grand.  The house's main floor high ceilings presented me with a rare opportunity to indulge and completely surrender to this fantasy.  It was a true labour of love, as most all good things worth fighting for are, and in this rare instance resulted in pure magic!  It was worth the wait and the cost.  It is by far, the best feature of this house.  When I finally saw it this summer, it took my breathe away.  Success!

And isn't it funny that when you want something real bad, you start seeing it everywhere!  Like a new car that you're thinking about purchasing and you see it at every turn. As many times as I've visited the Acropolis, it wasn't until this last visit that rocked my world.  As I looked skyward up the long length of the doric columns, I was delighted to only discover, you guessed it, coffered ceilings! They were suddenly everywhere! Up high running across the top of Parthenon and various other temples on the grounds, and pieces of it, down low on the ground, on its sides.  Despite dissenting voices, I couldn't help but grin and giggle as I stood there and relished that my house indeed was as Greek as it was going to get. Heh, Heh...perfect.

Am I a bit of a perfectionist?  Perhaps.  And as a culture, we tend to reward perfectionists for setting high standards and trying to meet them which is addictive.  And while I said that the ceiling is perfect, I also admitted that the house is not.  Success in some areas and failure in others.  Perfection may always equal success,  but will success bring you perfection?  Arianna Huffington was in Toronto recently launching her new concept called, the Third Metric, at a fundraiser for Women's Brain Health Initiative.  And while I do admire her willingness and ability to reinvent herself, something that I always strive for, I find this concept of taking success to another new level, a little abstract and pedantic.  Nevertheless, something she said resonated with me.  That "failure is not the opposite of success." 

 



I immediately thought of my hot yoga/fitness practice.  While its great for slowing down my monkey mind and building physical strength (success), I am otherwise absolutely horrible at it (failure).  Try as I might, I will likely never be able to do  the scale pose asana, the peacock asana, the standing splits or any kind of splits!  But I have learned to at least make an authentic attempt and reflect inward.  Trust that wherever you are in your pose, that is exactly where you need to be.  Imagine that in your minds eye that you are performing the pose/asana perfectly. 

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius

and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

Marilyn Monroe

I am learning that perfection doesn't have to be something that everyone sees, but rather a feeling a connection, to something or someone.   And that we treat it as a rare gift, because it sustains us and feeds into other parts of our lives.  It makes us feel more normal, more creative, more inspired and more strong.  Trying to live an authentic life is way more difficult than yoga asanas and building houses, but I am learning to try and be successful in smaller portions and aspects of life.  I am learning not to fear failure because its not the opposite of success!  It is after all, our imperfections that we relate and bond with one another. It is how we handle our failures and weakness that makes us truly great.

 

I close my eyes and imagine that my Greek house is perfect.  I imagine away the pergola, the window wells, the retaining walls, the front door, the kitchen door, its illegal status and that there is no window on the west side of the house.

I love my Greek house... and all its perfect imperfections.

 

Can the Apple Fall Far from the Tree?

Never thought that I'd find myself doing tequila shots in an orange grove, in Kalamata, with my 84 year old Uncle.  But there I was, dusting the shoulders of the bottle, a long forgotten gift, while my Theo (Uncle) fetched the lemon and salt. 

"Να ηρεμησεις" (Na ee-remisis), To calm yourself, and then you'll tell me what happened on the Mountain" he said while he cracked the seal of the 35 year old bottle and I wondered if tequila ages well.  "Kοιτάξτε εδώ, θείο" (Key-taxte edo, Theo) "Look here, Uncle, let me show you how the Mexican's do it."  He was playful and eager. He mirrored my image, with a grin on his face, as he licked the salt, took the shot and sucked the lemon.  He chuckled after and sat forward to pour us both another.  I love him. 

He would have been an awesome father.  He and his wife were never able to have children.  And why is it that the people who have the best dispositions for children often are the ones that end up childless?  A cruel puzzle the universe imposes. 

Theo Yianni (John) is my mother's second eldest brother.  Pericles, the eldest of six children from the Parthenios family died 5 years ago.  A gentle soul with a loving heart, shockingly handsome and fiercely patriotic, also remained childless. 

They both fawned over me when I'd visit and lived the Greek expression that they modified, " το παιδί της αδελφής μου είναι δύο φορές παιδί μου".  "The child of my sister is twice my child".  As a young girl, I never felt more loved and cared for and cherished.  And I most certainly returned their affections.  We were three peas in a pod...now only two. 

There is no doubt that Theo Yianni has mellowed over the years, but his opinions and loyalty is unwavering.  He may be 84 but he stands tall and straight with no stagger in his gait.  He has the thickest mass of white wavy hair and the laugh of a young man going on an adventure. 

He said to me, "that while your father and I tolerated each other, this Verga house he built  was really a gift to me. He made a mess of it and who else would come and try to fix it...but you, my Katerina. I pray that Boufeas takes forever to finish it." 

My eyes swell and I feel so comforted and protected by those words.  And yes, he is the only one that calls me Katerina, my third name, because he simply likes it best.

After the third round of tequila shots, between laughter and tears, he presses me to reveal what exactly happened on the Mountain.  "It's like you've seen a ghost or a monster!"  I felt like such a child as he held my face and pleaded with his eyes for answers.  I went to my dad's Horio, his village and Theo Yianni was right, I encountered a red-headed monster. 

I had an afternoon suddenly available to me.  I was supposed to be in Athens shopping for a kitchen, but it didn't turn out that way, regretfully.  But I was excited when I told Theo Yianni that I'll be heading up the Mountain for a drive and to visit the grave of my dad's brother Nikita.  The drive up the Taygetos was joyful and lighthearted and I relished all the familiar twists and hairpin turns that  it has to offer. 

But the afternoon turned tragic, once I encountered her...my father's doppelganger.  I felt like I was 12 years old, vulnerable and small. As she hollered and insulted me just like my father did. She made up bizarre situations in her head about how poorly she is treated by the family and how I caused my father's cancer and what I'm doing to the Verga house is scandalous and that the names of my children are disgraceful. WTF.  She has turned into him...perhaps she has always been like that.   And I turned into jelly as her expressions and words and glances and hand gestures morphed into my father. It was as if he was standing right there. I froze in horror. And then ran from her. And while doing so I broke the heels of my shoes.

To steal an expression from a close friend, "I pressed the delete button" about a thousand times  as I was driving down the mountain.  My father's sister has now been...deleted.

Theo Yianni was empathetic and had a rebuttal for all the nasty comments she made.  But he asked a very sage, very pointed question, "You are no stranger to this kind of verbal attack, you are an exceptionally strong, confident woman....tell me why you are trembling? You know none of what she said is true, what revelation have you had?"  And there it was, the answer, it just tripped off my tongue, like its been waiting there on its mark for the starter pistol.  "I'm afraid I'll turn into them...him! Will I?"

He sat back and while I waited for his response, I felt relieved.  The unspoken was spoken.  I know that I am related to them, but how can I possibly be?  I feel so different, I feel most times like I don't belong.  I looked up at the orange trees with its boughs full of fruit and thought, can the apple fall far from the tree?  Or in this case, the orange?  lol. 

Theo Yianni has never said an unkind word about my father, ever.  So when he offered his answer it was the classiest most respectful response and a little shocking.  "You are like him.  You have skillfully pick the best parts of your father and that is what makes you.  And you have taken the best parts of your mother, your sweet nature...its what every parent hopes for."  "Now, let's go see your scandalous house, it always makes you happy!" 

Father of the year, I say...or Lifetime. Some are just born with it.

Earlier that day, the window and doors arrived from Athens and likely they had been installed.  I was aching to see it. There was about two hours left of sunlight to an already long and eventful day. And it seems that whenever I come to Greece, I have the most...enlightening experiences.  lol. 

We drove silently up the winding road to the Verga house.  I welcomed the calmness that driving provides me and the security of my Theo next to me.  As we pulled up to the house and parked we both just sat there for a moment and stared at it.  It was magnificent.  He held my hand and said, "It has your energy and spirit."  And with those words, the events of the day just disappeared. 


We didn't except to find anyone working at the house so late in the day and was surprised when the foreman, Dimitri, greeted us at the door.  "You have windows and doors.  What do you think?", he asked proudly.  "It's finally a real house", I said.  And then he reached into his pocked and held something out to me and rather coyly asked, "would you like the key to your house?"  I beamed at Dimitri and held out my hand. 

Theo Yianni was grinning from ear to ear, as I just held the key by its end to examine its uniqueness.  "Kαλοριζικο, Katerina mou" (Kaloriziko, good-root or luck my Katerina).  I was silent.  "Well, I'm off" said the foreman, "be sure to lock the door when you're done."  Stunned, I thanked him and only wished that Peter Boufeas was here to share in this delightful moment. 

We toured the house and checked all the new windows and doors. There were a few minor errors, but I knew that Boufeas would take care of it in a New York minute.  Besides we were both so delighted with the outcome and Theo Yianni was quite impressed with the quality and I was happy that he approved.    I handed him the key.  "You lock up the house for the first time Theo."  His chest puffed up as he reached for the key. 

As the key turned and clanked 6 times, I imagined shutting the door and dead-bolting the earlier events with the red-headed monster.  I imagined dead-bolting out all the negative, toxic and unrelenting memories that this house once represented.  The next time I come I will unlock the door and my children will run through it, clearing out any leftover unwanted ghosts, with their laughter and joie de vivre.

And I'm ok with where the apple has landed.  It has fallen far enough away from the tree...this Verga house was built after all on a mountain side. LOL.

 

Well, it certianly looks like a "capsule"

I'm increasingly obsessed with how time keeps moving faster as I get older.  Once again, it's Spring time in Greece and as the country blooms with colour and beautifies with natures tremendous gifts, so does my house in Verga.  It's turning into a jewel.  And with each day that passes it continues to blossom and will likely be done by end of July.  While I'm in no great hurry, time certainly seems to be. 

Four years have come and gone since my father's death. It seems that when he passed the days just seemed long and tedious, filled with endless tasks.  Now the sun rises and sets with such briskness that it leaves me winded at the end of the day, wishing it would slow down.  All I want is more time.

Time for what, exactly?  Time for adventures and experiences that are indelible. Indelible not only to me but perhaps, with any luck, to others as well.  A life well lived, with no regrets.  Full of faults, of course, but admired for its gumption, ambition and regardless of any fear factor, made an effort. 

And you know what?  That's how my father lived. 


This house that my father built over a decade ago and was left as a shell, with all its problems, was indeed a direct reflection of his endeavours as a whole.  But there must be more to my dad.  At least I have hoped and prayed that there will be more. 

So I've embarked on a memory finder mission.  And it all started with the concept of a time capsule.  Yup. Some call it a cornerstone, others a memory box, but "time capsule" is the preferred vernacular.

The idea is to consider an item, whether real or contrived, that reminds them of Steve, dad, and then place it in the time capsule.  My brothers think it to be a fine idea and once I told them, they have been busy chatting with family and friends about what they should put in.  Then we'll find a day either this Summer or Fall, to all congregate at the Verga house for a memorial of sorts to place the time capsule in the ground.

In my mind I have envisioned a quiet sunset moment, family and friend gathered around the open time capsule, each holding a memory of Steve in our hands.  Then one by one, with great laughter and joy, we place that memory in the capsule.  Idyllic. Poignant.  Sentimental.  And STUPID!  What was I thinking!  Anything involving Steve is never that tender, or gentle or just...easy. The time capsule turned into a time bomb!

Early on before I involved the brothers, I asked Peter Boufeas, my minhanikos, to set aside a spot in the ground near the house to place and bury the time capsule.  I told him that it will be a small, rectangular box, 19.8 x 18.2 x 10.3 inches, made out of composite material that can withstand large temperature fluctuations (-40F to 250F).  Easy to seal, watertight, lightweight that can be buried with no fuss.

No such luck.


My older brother really showed an interest in this project, so I thought to hand it over to him to run with.  He decided that the time capsule that I wanted, which would come from a company that specializes in time capsules, wasn't good enough.  So without further consultation, he went off and had one designed and built in a matter of days.  No one said he wasn't a doer.  What resulted was nothing like I had described.  In fact, it's the complete opposite.

Steel time capsule

"Well", I said to him, "it certainly looks like a...capsule".  "How on earth will you get this past customs?  It looks like a missile...a bomb."  Well, if his time capsule doesn't start WWIII at customs, it certainly started one at my house that afternoon.  Sigh. 

It's made out of steel and weighs a ton.  Seriously, I broke out in a sweat just moving it to take this picture.  lol.  It will require a gasket that my brother says will be hot silicon glue. On site?  Who is going to facilitate that?  And when you place the items in the cylinder, you can't view them after because its stacked.  And how do you bury it? 
 Vertically??? But, it will be water tight and endure temperature changes....oh and of course, a nuclear bomb.  



Steel time capsule open

My brother and I had a cold war for about a week after, but I've come to terms with it.  He left it in my foyer as punishment for being ungrateful.  lol. He did paint it to make it look nice and purchased archival sleeves, pens and paper.  I know what he did came from a good place.

The only problem I have with it now is that it's triple the volume than the original small discrete box.  What will we fill it with?  I only have one small item.  I'm worried.  Will our memorial for dad turn into a trip down nightmare lane  rather than memory lane?  Do we have enough "memories" to put in it? 

I only want good ones...



 

It's not like it's Plato's Olive Tree!

View from the dining room

There is this olive tree on my property that I've been threatening to cut down.

It stands right outside my dining room picture window.  I've said repeatedly to whomever would listen that it obstructs my view of the mountain and the yard that my boys will eventually play.  The only person on my side is Theo Yianni.

Τραβήξτε το από τις ρίζες του με το τρακτέρ που έχετε εδώ τώρα, έτσι ώστε δεν θα φυτρώσει ξανά. "Remove it by its roots," exclaims Theo Yianni,  "with the tractor that you have here now so that it won't shoot up again".  At first Peter Boufeas was horrified at the idea of cutting it down and shocked that I would even suggest it.  But now he just rolls his eyes and smiles every time I suggest such a thing.  Olive trees are like that.  They can get injured and look like they are near death, yet miraculously sprout new shoots and will even bear an olive or two in a short time.  They are like the mythical phoenix, they rise from the ashes. (yes, its very dramatic, lol)

Even with Boufeas' indignation, I found the opportunity recently to express my concern about the olive tree and its unfortunate spot on the property, with the foreman, Dimitri. 

He is a slender man, middle aged, with a bushy moustache and a solemn look.  Seems to me that he hadn't smiled in a while and who can blame him considering the current economic crisis he finds himself and his country in.  And it was yet another rainy, moody day on the mountain when Boufeas first introduced me to the foreman Dimitri, which didn't do much for anyone's disposition. 

Coffered ceiling sample

I began to ask him about the very decadent lux coffered ceiling that I'm considering having installed and of which he himself had done the sample.  His answers were short, to the point and unemotional.  Hmm.  I told him that I liked his mill work and that indeed it will add fine architectural details to the interior.  He nodded, thoughtfully.  Hmm.  I moved to the dining room picture window  and commented on how foreboding the mountain looked today, especially knowing that it was once an active volcano.  The foreman Dimirti, spins on his heel and looks at me with a raised eyebrow. 

He seemed pleasantly surprised with my knowledge of his town, little does he know that I excel at Trivial Pursuit, lol.  Quite satisfied with my ability to finally break the ice with the foreman, we actually chatted about the dormant volcano and our mutual affection for the Taygetos Mountain.  But it wasn't until I turned once again to the window and proclaimed, half jokingly, that I will indeed cut down this dreadful olive tree, that I got the most visceral of reactions!  

All I hear are gasps from the men that have accompanied me.  George Giannopoulos, mutters, "Apokliete", (No Way),  the Architect Dimitri, turns to Boufeas and quizzes with disgust, "what is she going to cut down?" Boufeas just breathes out and says, "here she goes again" and runs a hand across his forehead in exasperation.  A look of horror washes over the face of  the foreman Dimitri and challenges me rather aggressively, "You will do no such thing!" 

Plato's Olive Tree now lives in Verga, Kalamata

I proceed to tell the foreman the reasons for my disdain for this particular tree, but he begins to offer alternatives like, pruning it to make it less imposing.  Perhaps we can build a small rock wall around it as to encourage people to sit underneath it for shade, was another.  I could not be swayed.  I drove the point further by suggesting, with a chuckle,  that I will need firewood for my three fireplaces and this tree would be a good place to start.

"Look", the foreman pressed, "its one of the oldest trees you have on the property and it has the most olives on it too!  What does that say to you?  Doesn't that mean anything to you?  To cut an olive tree down is blasphemy."

Blasphemy.  How do you respond to a person who has just described the cutting of an olive tree as blasphemy?  I take a moment.  It's quiet as I contemplate the future of the tree and turn to the foreman and say with a great big smile, "Fcku, it's not like it's Plato's Olive Tree!"  Γαμώτο, δεν είναι ελιά του Πλάτωνα!

Hearty laughter echoed through my cavernous house.  The foreman Dimitri especially impressed and amused by my reference, responds with great joviality, "You never know, it could be!  It very well could be, Tzaki!"

Actually, no it really could not.  I've actually seen Plato's Olive Tree and it's not in Verga.  And the craziest part about me making that comment was that two months later, on Thursday January 17, 2013, the real Plato's Olive Tree was cut down...for firewood!  And part of me went with it.  Have you ever been on a pilgrimage? I have.

I was 14 years old when I caught partway through, an obscure BBC documentary with a very passionate white haired bearded man, talking about an unlikely landmark in the middle of a busy thoroughfare.  As he was dodging traffic, with horns blaring, he managed to cross the road and convey that he indeed is standing next to, wait for it....Plato's Olive Tree.  "Behold", he said, with a twinkle in his eye.

I was memorised.  What is this?  Where is he?  "I'm going", I said to myself and nothing was going to stop me.

I was 15 years old when I stood in the presence of this unremarkable and rather ordinary olive tree. What made it interesting to look at though wasn't just that it was thought to be more than 3,000 years old,  but that it had been nurtured back to life after being hit by a bus in 1976.  Which almost happened to me trying to find it!  At the time, its gnarled trunk had split into four pieces. From what I understand, the largest of these was taken to the Agricultural University of Athens, where it has been on display ever since.

Legend has it that the tree was part of the alleys that surrounded Plato’s Academy, and it was among the twelve olive trees that marked the twelve gated entries to the property. This part of Athens was later, and still is, named ‘Eleonas’ (olive grove) because of those ancient olive trees.  The Iera Odos (Sacred Way) lies on the ancient route between Athens and the town of Elefsina (Eleusis). The remains of Plato’s Academy lie near the tree, giving the area the name Akadimia Platonos.

Where the original Plato's Olive Tree once stood

And now nothing remains there, except for a big hole.  Local media reported that it was very likely uprooted and stolen to serve as firewood.  Hmm.  Fuel costs have sky rocketed and due to austerity measures the majority refuse to pay the increase and have resorted to heating their home with a wood-burning fireplace or stove.  It was calculated that the stolen part of the tree weighed more than 1,000 pounds, nevertheless it was removed without anyone taking notice.  Imagine that.

And it truly boggles my mind that Greeks would do such a thing, especially considering how revered and sacred the average, non-school of Athens, olive trees actually are to the majority of Greeks...and I do mean majority, not just my small cross section of natives!

I cried when I read the news report that the olive tree under which Plato is believed to have taught his students 2,400 years ago, is now gone.  And I bet I know someone else who cried too.  It is blasphemy, Dimitri the foreman was right. 

How can I ever even consider harming my "Plato's" olive tree?  That's its rightful name now.  I won't ever cut my olive tree down now, I could never ever! Αποκλειεται! Apokliete! 

My Olive Grove, all trees intact and lovingly maintained!

.


 

Home is where the House is?

I never doubted for a moment that I am Canadian.  And being a Canadian  often means having a duality of the kind that Trudeau spoke of so passionately; Pierre Elliot, that is.  Not his son, the long haired boho Justin, who by the way, is vying for the Federal Liberal leadership.  While he may have a great head of hair and a face that reminds me of Alexander the Great, he is wet behind the ears and when he speaks I cringe with transferred embarrassment. lol. 

Trudeau spoke of a multicultural society that benefits from each others diversity, not trying to assimilate or create a melting pot. My parents were indeed part of Trudeau-mania.  And their children are definite personifications of the all Canadian dream.  Maintaining a double identity to their benefit not detriment. 

Storm clouds breaking over Verga House

And yet as I write this from Kalamata, I feel out of sorts.  Never have I ever felt out of place, but this past week surprised me.   I have never felt more disappointed and heartbroken and bewildered and cold and displaced.  For the first time I feel "off" here. Only when I'm at my Greek House do I feel connected. I visit it everyday.  Sentimental, maybe.  Confused about the rest of the week and how it will unfold, undoubtedly. 

Perhaps its the rain.  Fine weather for young ducks.  Down pour every day, with thunder and lightening that lights up the sky so brilliantly and a cold that chills the bone.  I quite enjoy the dry cold Canadian winters, but there is nothing worse than a wet cold.  Nothing that a hot toddy like a tsipouro with honey and clove can't remedy.

I am without a permanent address in Toronto, having sold the Unionville house last November. Don't know where I'll land or what place I'll call home, but I guess home is where the house is?

A fully Plastered house

And the Greek house, quite ironically, is all I've got.  It's come a long way, but still has many problem details that need to get resolved.  Acquiring the needed 700m2 is still an issue and the back and forth with the surrounding land owners have left my friends, mihanikos/engineer Peter Boufeas and mihanikos/engineer George Giannopoulos (I affectionately call him GG)  bored and restless with the situation.   I, on the other hand, don't mind the waiting game, especially since the deadline for the zoning penalty/fines keeps getting pushed back.

Meanwhile, the majority of the funds have been devoted thus far, to the grading and drainage of the property.   Both very important, but seemingly endless and I've grown bored and restless with this money pit.  My head is still spinning over the cost of the topsoil!  At which point I threatened Boufeas that I'd bring in the soil myself with a wheel barrel...he wasn't too impressed, but leery that I may actually follow through. lol.  The house itself is stunning now and the property is without question, unrecognizable with its gorgeous terraced walls.

Hammer coming down on garage

The structural issues, like the garage and concrete pergola are being addressed.  I had to take down part of the garage because it just didn't make sense to leave it as is when a car could barely get in and the door would have been on the inside rather than the outside.  Sigh.  Exhausting really trying to correct mistakes of the previous mihanikos/engineer Voldemort.  And even though the entire house, inside and out, has been plastered, the concrete pergola continues to be an eyesore...and now the engineers are telling me to add more of it because it isn't symmetrical.  Hmm...



plastered pergola, watching the sunset

I wish I could physically hug my Greek House.   I want to wrap my arms around it and feel it hug me back.  I lean against one of its large columns as I watch the sunset over the Messinian Bay and think of how this Canadian finds herself at this spot, at this moment, at her house.  Her house...on a Greek hillside.

I Almost Forgot

Leave it to Google to remind me of my youthful influences.  Just seeing the pictorial tribute to Odysseus Elytis with the Olive Tree, a Vineyard and a Boat, had me inhale sharply and made my heart race.  A wash of Theodorakis music played in my head and nostalgia created a lump in my throat.  Who else can do this, but a poet!

A few loose pages of poems tucked in between an old tattered book, travelled across the Atlantic in my mum's book bag.  Eventually, "Sun The First Together With Variations on A Sunbeam" (Ηλιος ο πρώτος, παραλλαγές πάνω σε μιαν αχτίδα, 1943) found its way on top of the old HiFi turntable console, a place of honour, next to Robert Frost.  Poetry resonates deeply with Greek people and my parents were often walking testaments to this.  He wasn't just any poet.  He won the 1979 Nobel Prize in Literature.   

As I grew older I appreciated his poetry even more once it was put to music, of course,  by legendary Mikis Theodorakis.  "Axion Esti-It Is Worthy" became an anthem of sorts to the modern Greek of 1964 and beyond.  My dad, even though he wasn't very modern, connected some how to Elytis words. And through the wicked combination of Elytis and Theodorakis I also found a connection... with my dad.  

I almost forgot.

He'd pop the tape in the car and we'd listen to the music during the morning weekend drive to open the restaurant.  He'd ask, "do you understand what he is saying here, Tzaki?" If I didn't understand he'd stop the tape and try to translate the word, the meaning.  And dad was spot on, with the meaning of Elytis.  Dad said that he is speaking to 'us', not the ancients or about the ancients, but to me and you. 

And indeed Elytis, "Unlike others, he did not turn back to Ancient Greece or Byzantium but devoted himself exclusively to today's Hellenism, of which he attempted - in a certain way based on psychical and sentimental aspects - to build up the mythology and the institutions. His main endeavour has been to rid his people's conscience from remorses unjustifiable, to complement natural elements through ethical powers, to achieve the highest possible transparency in expression and to finally succeed in approaching the mystery of light, "the metaphysic of the sun" - according to his own definition."



Look its plastered!

Psychical and sentimental indeed describes Elytis work and aspects of my father that I've never considered.  And perhaps it also describes me and my Greek house.   (Which has progressed considerably and I must update you on!)

And today's modern Greek has forgotten the wave of positive influences that Elytis had on the attitude and worth of self.  It's 101 years from his birth, holding a book, poems in flight and Google has shown Odysseus Elytis in his quintessential sailor's hat with the Olive Tree, a cluster of grapes and the Boat.  Why?

Because Elytis had once said, "If you deconstruct Greece, at the end you will see that you are left with an olive tree, a vineyard and a boat. Which means that you can rebuild it,"   Wow, his words just jump off the page considering the climate and chaos that Greece finds itself.  Thanks for reminding us Google.

And my mum's book of poetry has lost its cover.  It has yellowed and its tips have turned in; it is well thumbed.  It now sits proudly on my office shelf along with Frost, Tennyson, Noyes (nothing beats The Highwayman) and a full collection of Dr Seuss.